For a long time, I thought networking was something you either enjoyed or endured. Some people seemed naturally good at it. I assumed that meant they liked attending events, conversations with new people, and staying in touch, and it took no effort. I like, others I know, opted out, telling ourselves we were not wired for it, at that our focus should stay on doing good work.
As my leadership scope expanded, and I need to address my approach to networking too.
Networking began to show up more as part of the role. Not in a “all about me” way, or as a numbers game, but as a steady practice of building relationships that helped me and my team.
At its simplest, networking is the practice of building and maintaining relationships over time. For leaders, relationships are not optional. They impact how ideas are shaped, how decisions are made, and how opportunities surface long before anything formal appears.
Why Networking Is Often Misunderstood
As a leader and a coach, I learnt I am not alone. Many capable leaders hesitate to invest in networking because of the stories we carry about what it involves. We tell ourselves it is something you only do when you need something, usually a job or a favour. We assume it is about growing a long list of contacts rather than knowing a smaller group of people well. Some worry it requires constant self promotion or a polished pitch, which can feel misaligned with how they want to lead.
Others rely almost entirely on their immediate team or organization, assuming that is enough. Or they picture formal events and scripted conversations and decide it is not for them. There is also a tendency to stay inside a single industry or to treat personal and professional relationships as separate, when in reality those lines are often far more connected.
Most of these assumptions miss the point. Strong networks are not built in moments of urgency. They are built gradually, through curiosity, generosity, and consistency. Many of the most meaningful connections in a leader’s career come through former colleagues, alumni, friends, or loose ties that deepen over time.
Why Networking Matters More as You Lead Bigger
As leaders move into broader roles, the work changes. Success is no longer driven only by what you personally deliver. It depends on who you can influence, who you can learn from, and who you can bring together at the right moment.
A strong network can help this shift. It surfaces opportunities. It shortens learning curves by giving you access to lived experience rather than theory. It provides sounding boards during transitions and difficult decisions. Over time, it also creates visibility for your work through others, rather than through horn tooting!
In this way, networking stops being about advancement and starts being about stewardship. You are tending relationships that support not just your own work, but the work of many people around you.
What Strong Network Builders Do Differently
Leaders who are known as strong connectors are rarely the loudest people in the room. What they do differently is often subtle.
They stay oriented toward value rather than urgency, paying attention to what others are working on and where they might be helpful without keeping score. They introduce people thoughtfully, becoming trusted for connections because they understand context and intent. Many of them anchor their networks around a shared idea or purpose, which gives conversations meaning and direction.
They also focus on depth. Rather than chasing numbers, they stay in light, regular contact with a smaller group of people, building familiarity and trust over time. When they reach out, especially to busy people, they are clear and respectful about why they are connecting and what they are proposing. And they never treat networking as finished. They notice natural moments to reconnect, whether through an article, an update, or a simple check in.
None of this requires a specific personality. It requires attention, intention and practice.
Simple Ways to Make Networking Part of Your Leadership Rhythm
If networking has felt awkward or undefined, it often helps to make it practical.
Start by setting a gentle relationship cadence. Each week, reconnect meaningfully with one person. A short note, a shared resource, or a genuine question is enough. Over time, these small moments add up.
Shift how you open conversations. Instead of leading with what you need, ask what is interesting or challenging for them right now. Listen carefully and respond where you can be useful.
Broaden your circles intentionally. Make space for conversations outside your usual industry or function, even occasionally. Different perspectives have a way of sharpening thinking.
Use moments you already have. Meetings, conferences, alumni gatherings, and online exchanges all offer easy follow ups that turn contact into connection. When you do follow up, be clear. Reference the conversation, suggest a simple next step, or offer something concrete.
A Closing Reflection
When leaders say they are not good at networking, what they often mean is that they do not enjoy forced interactions or shallow exchanges. That is very understandable.
Ultimately the reframe is that networking is a personality trait, It is a habit that strong leaders practice.
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